One of the Hardest Prayers You’ll Ever Pray

Today I’m praying one of the hardest prayers I’ve ever prayed. One of the most painful prayers I’ve ever prayed.

It’s a prayer that challenges me. Convicts me. Cuts me to the core.

I rarely get through the first few lines, before my petition turns to confession — with tears of grief and shame. And then repentance.

It’s called The Litany of Humility by Cardinal Merry Del Val (1865-1930).

This prayer asks Jesus to deliver me — deliver us — from desiring some specific things and fearing certain others. It’s not that the things we desire are necessarily evil or wrong, or can — or even should — always be avoided. But desiring them… seeking them… being motivated by them leads us into all kinds of sinful behavior. Likewise with the things we fear. It’s not the fear itself. It’s what we’re tempted to do (or not do) because of it.

The reason I’m praying this prayer today is because I’m headed out to the Allume Conference in South Carolina — 450 Christian women bloggers gathering together for encouragement and inspiration, fun and fellowship. It should be absolutely wonderful! We’re all looking forward to a fabulous time!

But women being women, we’re also in for some serious temptation. There are certain traps the enemy sets specifically for us and especially in settings like this one…. for instance, the comparison trap, the competitive trap, the inferiority trap, the envy trap, the self-pity trap, the desire for approval / applause / appreciation trap, the people-pleasing trap, the prideful trap, the superiority trap — just to name a few!

We look around and (without even realizing it) find ourselves sizing every other woman up: Who’s more attractive, more confident, more organized, more “together”? Who’s more popular or well-known? Whose ministry is more meaningful, more significant, more successful? Who’s truly special? Who’s somebody? And who’s not?

And where do we fit in?

It can get ugly right quick. At least in my heart, it can.

So this is what I’m praying this morning — thinking of Jesus and all the ways He exemplifies these life-changing words:

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, hear my prayer.
Make my heart like Yours.

From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being loved, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being extolled, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being honored, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being praised, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being preferred to others, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being consulted, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being approved, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being humiliated, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being despised, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of suffering rebukes, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being slandered, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being forgotten, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being ridiculed, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being wronged, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being suspected, Deliver me, Jesus.

That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be chosen and I set aside, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be praised and I unnoticed, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be preferred to me in everything, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, have mercy on us, O Lord.

Amen.